UC Observer logo
UCObserver on SoundCloud UCObserver on YouTube UCObserver on Facebook UCObserver on Twitter UCObserver's RSS Feeds

At Issue

The warranty has ended on my parents' generation

By Connie denBok

It seems the warranty has ended on my parents’ generation. A year ago, my high school friends reunited around my dining room table for the first time in 30 years. Since that day, we have been orphaned one at a time, my own mother exiting this spring. She lingered and faded with her favourite magnolias.

I remembered the parents of my friends as having no real identity apart from their suburban homes and children. Like the God of our Sunday school, they disappeared from view when not attending to our needs, and reappeared at intervals to bestow bounty, lay down commandments and occasionally loose their wrath. And like that God, they each had a personal name never uttered by such as us. Our parents could not be our closest friends because they were of another age and era, remote and accessible only by black-and-white snapshots where young men wore uniforms and young women looked impossibly old-fashioned.

That generation was shaped by war and the Great Depression. The memory of wartime shortages was tattooed on their psyches. My mother’s closets were filled with shoes, identical except in wear: size 5F, one-inch heels. The lightly worn were kept in upstairs closets, misshapen and scuffed ones exiled to the basement. If seven lean years ever followed the decades of post-war plenty, her personal stockpiles would provide. When a physiotherapist suggested my mother consider sensible flat-soled shoes with laces or Velcro support, she bristled. No “old people shoes” would ever touch her toes. Bunions and lost balance were small burdens to bear in a world where sacrifice was the norm.

In so many ways, the lifespan of the United Church parallels the cohort of Canadians who entered the world after the First World War. Born into exuberant optimism and unlimited expansion in the 1920s, humbled by loss and deprivation in the ’30s, galvanized to follow in their own parents’ footsteps through a second great war, they bloomed into post-war formidability. As if commissioned to counterbalance the shared experience of death and destruction overseas, they returned to make babies and build institutions: a baby boom, a building boom. The burgeoning Sunday schools and new church developments of the mid-20th century were their creation — unfortunately not their legacy.

The loyal among their children struggle to maintain those churches, sandbagging the perimeters to keep out the rising floodwaters of . . . what?  Is it changing culture, loss of faith, the departure of God, the missing link of one great gimmick that could recreate the glory of 1958 (1,000 children in Sunday school!)?

In the second century, Clement of Alexandria saw the future in more ancient symbols. He said, “Let the dove or the fish, the vessel flying before the wind, or the marine anchor be our signets.” The ancient Christian crypts seldom depicted the cross because it was a symbol of death. More often, we see the fish, a symbol of Jonah’s three-day captivity and Jesus’ empty tomb.  

The love of what we cherished is an honourable love, but the future lies on the wings of a dove, the wind in our sails, the anchor thrown into wild open waters.

Readers’ advisory: The discussion below is moderated by The UC Observer and facilitated by Intense Debate (ID), an online commentary system. The Observer reserves the right to edit or reject any comment it deems to be inappropriate. Approved comments may be further edited for length, clarity and accuracy, and published in the print edition of the magazine. Please note: readers do not need to sign up with ID to post their comments on ucobserver.org. We require only your user name and e-mail address. Your comments will be posted from Monday to Friday between 9:30 a.m. and 5:30 p.m. Join the discussion today!

Interviews

Courtesy of Pixabay

Why this woman is leaving the Catholic Church in her 60s

by Angela Mombourquette

After a lifetime devoted to Catholicism, a Nova Scotia teacher is settling in with the United Church of Canada. Here, she explains why.

Promotional Image

Editorials

Jocelyn Bell%

Observations: It’s a long road toward full equality for women

by Jocelyn Bell

'It’s a wonder that we continue to see male ministers as normative and attach shame to female ministers’ biology and sexuality.'

Promotional Image

Video

ObserverDocs: Playing by Heart

by Observer Staff

United Church music director Kara Shaw was born prematurely, became almost totally blind and was later diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. Today, the 28-year-old showcases her unique musical ability, performing piano on local and national stages.

Promotional Image

Faith

May 2018

Toronto church builds interfaith friendship

by Vivien Fellegi

Faith

May 2018

This parent found no support for her autistic daughter — and decided to change that

by Kieran Delamont

Suzanne Allen talks about raising a daughter on the autism spectrum and bringing all autistic girls together

Faith

May 2018

Church retreat helps first responders with PTSD

by Joe Martelle

Interviews

May 2018

Why this woman is leaving the Catholic Church in her 60s

by Angela Mombourquette

After a lifetime devoted to Catholicism, a Nova Scotia teacher is settling in with the United Church of Canada. Here, she explains why.

Ethics

May 2018

Pregnant in the pulpit

by Trisha Elliott

Ministers who take a maternity leave still face discrimination in their own congregations

Interviews

May 2018

The two words Rev. Cheri DiNovo wants to hear from the United Church

by Alex Mlynek

The Toronto minister talks about her disappointment over the church’s silence when she officiated the country’s first legalized same-sex marriage 17 years ago – and why she wants an apology.

Promotional Image